Wait. No hats? At all?
“No Dewrags” [sic], we understand…why would you bring with you to this establishment a rag for wiping away little droplets of dew? It’s practically a weapon (”no weapons of any kind”)…a weapon against a crystalline lawn at 7:30 AM.
But hats can be good. Very good. Well, not “sock hats.” What is a sock hat?
We’ll have to insist on being able to wear sunglasses. (9 PM or no.)
Okay, but “no baggy clothing,” and “no untied shoes,” are rules we can really get behind.
* this sign was thoughtfully cellophane-taped to the door of a bar on SW 2nd for our consideration
WHAT TO DO NOW?